It's been too long since I've posted something. I need to stay up to date with this. Between this, and my own personal journal - I'm presently, at this very moment managing to put off ALL work and daily responsibility. Fantastic.
As I sit here, with Family Guy playing in the background, I find it funny that I can maintain some level of serious tone in my post. I guess I'm a little disappointed in my lack of posting lately. Anyways, as the title of the post goes, things have changed haven't they? In more ways than I originally thought when I first thought of the title.
Training, boxing, martial arts and fighting have all settled into a different part of my life. At least they did for the last year. Injuries, work commitments...really, a change in my own personal growth have put that part of my life in a different perspective. Training still plays an important role in my daily life. More importantly now, my relationships. Whereas at one point, all of this was bereft of any human connection, I know am connected and bonded with quite a few people in this world. One of those people has become very important to me. The more I think about it, they are all important to me now simply because I've let them in.
And my success as a fighter, a friend, a training partner and a coach has improved because of it. Would I have ever thought that way when I first started all of this? No way. I started this with the notion that I be alone, invincible and indestructable. Isn't that the path of the warrior? Isn't that what I've always felt? Is that what we see in movies? I don't know now, when I think about it. I still have that idea floating around in my heart; that this be done alone. That makes it heroic. And a lonely story. Maybe a heroic story, one that Hollywood makes movies out of so that we go home thinking how cool it would be to be that guy in that movie.
But I guess it's just me that thinks that way. Which is why I think Hollywood always puts a girl in there for the hero to end up with. That way - not so alone. Happy ending requirement. In real life, probably and usually doesn't always end up that way.
And so back to the title of the post, "Things DO change, don't they?" At this very moment, do I feel the effects or disparity as the result of any change that has occurred in my life? And if so, what was it again? Well, at this moment...right now...not so much. And what was that change again? I think it had something to do with connection - bonding with others. Relationships of all types and how I have cultivated them in recent history. That has been the main change, and like I said, at this very second, sitting here alone, I can't really tell if I see it all so clearly.
Stepping back and looking at my life now, I do. And it's good. It's different, and difficult...and easy at times. Overall, it has been good. The exposing of parts of my soul have been painful and slow to begin with, but the resulting joys of kinship with other people and unfamiliar parts of life appear a little more clearly nowadays.
A part of me thinks that's bad. Another side of me thinks its good - that it's growth. Where it all ends up or what it all turns out to be - that I can't project or worry about. Isn't that what they mean when they say to "enjoy the ride?" Even more ambitious of a statement would be to crave more change...the next growth challenge in this cliche of a ride.
We'll see how brave I am in the meantime.